So, sorry about the pday thing. We had a ZL-DL-Sister training leader conference yesterday. This whole change is interviews, and Pres is swamped, and the only day to do it was a Monday. So, for that reason, it was changed. nothing giant.
We also had a fairly interesting week. Lots of finding, knocking doors and such. That is something that for a while, I didn`t really do. But here, we have to, because nobody really helps us otherwise. We got rejected pretty much every time. Its sort of sad, knowing what they are rejecting, but I can`t really help them beyond what they want.
We did get a few very good references this week. We found a lady who we had sort of dropped, Carmen who couldn`t get baptized due to a ....... Anyway, we called a lady in our phone whose name is also Carmen. Or intented to call her. One is under Carmen and the other one is Carmen----, and my comp called the wrong one and set up a cita with the wrong Carmen....but in the end, it turned out to be the right Carmen. She is totally ready to get baptized. She knows its all true...and just needed to see us. I started thinking about how it was that the ¨error¨ of talking to her came to be. It started with contacting a totally different house in a gated neighborhood, and told us to come back, and that her name was Carmen. But we didn`t get a phone number. We went over a few times, but she was never home. Then we found her aunt, who gave us a phone number, and sent us on our way. Due to the length of the name, I had to save it all squished together, which pushed it to a different place on the list of the phonebook. then, my comp calls the Carmen in the phone, talks to her, sets up the appointment, and we go to the wrong house. We figured out what we did, and went over to the right house, and had an awesome lesson. I couldn`t help thinking how Christ had to have set that all up. Like, in the bible with the ass and the triumphal entry, or the upper room for the passover dinner, or Peter and the tax money in the fish. Christ really does know everything, and more important, he knows all of us.
Then we found another guy, Marcos, who is the uncle of the kid I baptized in Yuscaran, Christian. Small world. He would have come to church on Sunday, except he just had stomach surgery, and he sneezed and a stitch burst. So, he couldn`t come. But we found another family, Marcos and Miriam, who came to church on Sunday, and our lesson was on Saturday. They loved it!!! They live next door to the old WML, so he gave us the reference. They told us that they are looking for the true church, and that they hope this one is it. They are good people who are seeking the truth, and I believe the Lord wants to bless them greatly....
To finish up, the only other thing that is on my mind right now is what happened last night. We have dinner every Monday with a family that aren`t members, but they love the missionaries. The parents both work in Asian restaurants, and can`t get Sundays off. They have 4 children 3 daughters, 16, 13, and 11, and a 3 year old son. They oldest daughter ....and the other three live at home. But they love us, and feed us, and it's great. They are awesome people. Well, the youngest son has some mental and physical issues. When he was a fetus, his mom had an injection that she didn`t know she was supposed to have pregnant, and it interrupted the development of the connective brain tissue. So his right and left brain don`t communicate so well. he can't walk, can't talk, but always smiles and laughs. He is very smart, he knows when people are speaking to him, and he responds, in his own way....but we had a very spiritual experience with them last night.
We had planned to talk about the restoration with them....but we got there and the dad started talking about how he doesn`t understand why the son, doesn`t get better faster, if the doctors promised that he would walk, and he has faith in God. I shared the story of the man who was healed in stages in Mark 8, where the man sees men as walking trees after Christ spits on his eyes, and places his hands on him. then Christ makes it so that he can see, and he can see afar, and very clearly. Then Elder Fielding talked about how God loves little children, and about how if their son is like this, it is for a purpose. And that God knows it, and they knew it, but know, they are being tested.
Then, as I was looking at Cristofer, and his giant smile, and trying to pick through my thoughts to find the inspiration....The clearest prompting came, and I knew it was the right one. I was supposed to talk about Tyler.
I explained the whole story, and did as much as I could without crying. But it got to the point where I couldn't keep the tears in. I explained how I watched Tyler change, from August to December, and how, even though my brain didn`t register at the time, terrifying for me to watch. About how he died, and about how that has affected me my whole life. But not just me: his family, as well. Especially his parents. I talked about how I don`t know exactly what they have gone through, or what they had experienced, but that I did know that they learned something from it. About how maybe, just maybe, the 8 years that Tyler was on this earth was for us, more than it was for him. About how all will be made right through the atonement of Christ, and even though now we don`t get it, one day, it will all be so clear, and all the grief and sorrow will be gone. I keep a photo of Tyler next to my manual misional, in my pocket. so I pulled it out and showed it to them. The part where I really broke was talking about how even though he couldn`t talk, or walk, or move, he could smile. And man, did he smile.....
My comp talked about the ":Like a Broken Vessel" talk from conference, and how all will be made right, about how things are just for moments, and God knows why.
The Dad, Manuel, talked about how when the doctors told him that the pregnancy would be a dangerous one, and they advised him to abort, he wouldn`t, because he had faith in God. And then, when his kid was born with issues, he said he stills feels like his faith betrayed him.
So I shared the Mark 9 about I believe, help though my unbelief.
I could truly feel the spirit...and even though it wasn`t what we planned, it was what the Lord needed. I got home and started thinking...and writing the experience down in my journal. and I started thinking.......and thinking.....about all the experiences that have happened to me in my life. About Tyler, MaryLynn, all of that. And how much I attribute of what I know today to those tragic, dark events in my life. Of the darkest times in my life, I realize that I have gained the greatest growth. and then I thought about Christ.
About how he bled at every pore, how he was a man of sorrow, chastised for my transgression, and bruised for my iniquities. About how he suffered sickness, and temptation, and death, to succor me, and to break the bonds of death. About how he trembled, and had angels minister to him, and how they took him like a lamb to the slaughter, not once opening his mouth. About how without breaking a bone, they nailed him to that cross, and how he felt so alone, and so torn...I think of that event, and how it was the darkest hour in the history of mankind....and yet the learning, and light, that came from it. About how much hope and joy comes from such terribleness....and about how one day, we will be in front of Him, who bore it all, and will still not understand, not even in the slightest degree, what he did for me. For me. And how unworthy and such a useless servant. To quote Nephi, o wretched man am I! How many blessings does he bless me with, how deep and unfathomable his love, and how great is acceptance of the work I do, which will never even be close to enough!!!! Oh, How I love the Lord....
Christ lives. We will all live. And we will all be perfect....
Love to all.